I can't take it anymore

After working in food service for so long, I developed a philosophy of not cleaning up after anyone. I take responsibility for my own mess, and I expect that people do the same for their own mess.

That blob of peanut butter still sits on the kitchen counter, in the shadow of a bottle of all-surface cleaner and a roll of paper towels.

C---bag whore has been bugging me about getting the bolts for my table. I am going to conveniently just keep "forgetting" until she starts keeping the kitchen clean. Because if she won't clean the counters, which are plastic and are attached to the apartment, then she probably won't clean the table, which is wood and moves with me to new houses.

I have informed my parents that I will not be living here next year, and that I am not having a roommate, either.

Dad: "Wait, she eats out of your glasses?!"
Me: "YES!!! I have plenty of bowls, and she eats out of my water glasses."
Dad: "Well it's not harming them..."
Me: "Yes it is! She's scraping up the inside with the fork!"
Dad: "Well whatever, we'll get you new dishes."
Me: "I don't want new dishes. These are 12 oz. water glasses. They are for drinking out of. I searched for months for this specific type of glass, and she is ruining them!"

"C---bag whore," by the way, is my new pet name for that inconsiderate cave-dweller who lives in my apartment and eats bean sprouts from my water glasses and puts my plastic travel tumblers and my acrylic cups on the bottom rack of the dishwasher and doesn't scrub her egg residue from the pans OR the spatula and has never cleaned a counter in the two months she has lived here.

I can't study here, knowing what is growing in the kitchen. The Costco pizza box is the cleanest surface in there.

(16:02:35) Me: bitch is costing me money
(16:02:46) Me: because i can't study in my own house
(16:02:48) Boyfriend: bitches tend to do that

Stab.

Fun fact: If you close your door all the way, a lot less sound gets into your room.

Fun fact: I've had in-room roommates who woke up about this time for earlier classes and used hair dryers in the room. I convinced myself that it was a soothing breeze on the beach. Or something. See fun fact number one.

Fun fact: I still hate my roommate, and I think she's starting to hate me. This is actually completely unintentional, and I didn't mean for this to happen. On a related note, I don't intend to start waking up at later-than-6:30am anytime soon. We have class at 8:15 next semester, and I will NOT be thrown off by that.

She growled, "Six.... Thirty.... !!!"

I hate my roommate and she needs to FOAD.

Things I can deal with:

1. The insane workload of law school.
2. The mess of my room, because it really isn't that bad, it's just boxes and a big suitcase of clean laundry and several pairs of shoes.
3. The boxes in my room. 

Things I absolutely cannot deal with:

1. Having to ask my roommate to throw out rotted fruit. Not rotting fruit, rotted fruit. That's right, it's been sitting there rotting/molding for two weeks, and I had to ask her to please take care of it.
2. Opening my fridge to find moldy tomatoes from three weeks ago.
3. Opening my fridge to find a container of spicy fried anchovies on top of my cheese. *HISS*
4. The case of beer taking up the entire bottom shelf of my fridge, from three weeks ago. Not in boxes.
5. The whole watermelon from three weeks ago that she hasn't eaten yet.
6. My apartment smells like, alternatingly, fried Asian food and rotting fruit.
7. My roommate asking me at school if I'm "okay" because she hasn't seen me in... a day. What the eff?! I do not believe this is part of the roommate deal, and I have never had anyone freak out and ask me if I was "okay" after not seeing me for like 36 hours. Honestly. W. T. FFFF!!! She is not my mother, and I am not accountable to her, nor do I have to inform her of when I am or am not coming home. We are 24, and honestly, if she wanted a roommate that cares, she should have posted about that in her roommate ad, because I did not sign up to literally hold someone's hand when she makes large purchases online. (Yes, I did that. She actually interrupted me and boyfriend while we were watching a movie.)
8. She interrupts me, and everyone else, when we are talking, to try to guess what we're about to say. I have been patient so far, but that got old the first time she did it.
9. She knocks on the door while opening it. As we well know, the correct sequence is knock, await response, then enter if invited in. (Advice from a friend: "Start being naked in your room at all times. This will work. I promise." ...She's okay with nudity. Well, more like she will walk around in her underwear. WTF. I am not comfortable with this.)
10. Bitch needs to close my bedroom door when she cooks her vile food so it doesn't stink up my linens.
11. She doesn't clean out containers before placing them in the recycling bin. As we well know, this contaminates the entire, large bin in the garage, and the recycling company or whatever then just... throws it in the trash instead of recycling it. So, her carelessness is actually costing the world money.

I haven't been this bitter since I had to work 26 days in a row for DoucheBob. I am just constantly in a bad mood because of this situation.

(no subject)

You know what crosses my mind when I see my roommate? These letters: F.O.A.D.

(no subject)

Dad: "So how do you like your apartment?"
Me: "The APARTMENT is fantastic. It can, however, be improved in one way."
Boyfriend: "Ha, yeah, that roommate."

She tried to HUG me last night. Again. I'm like, uhhh I might be getting sick. And she wondered why I was getting ready for bed at 9. Um, FOAD. It was my way of trying to deter her from hugging me, like the threat of contagious disease or something. It worked that time. She hasn't figured out why I now leave the house over an hour early and don't see her for days on end. That is entirely intentional, and it is sad that I am avoiding my own house.

Today's evidence that my roommate is not balanced

I am in the student lounge. She is clear across the room, talking to 2L+s about yesterday's offensive comments by the contracts instructor.

These comments were intentionally offensive, to prove a point that contracts can be enforceable even though they demand horrible things.

"What if the contracts stated that if he didn't marry a Presbyterian before age 21, the uncle would give him $5000? What if he couldn't marry a Catholic? A black?"

My thoughts - "Man, glad those days are over."

Roommate's comments - OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE HIM I AM SO OFFENDED WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE HE HATES ME PERSONALLY.

Did she grow up in a cave?!

My roommate put my nice, plastic coffee tumblers in the MAIN RACK of the dishwasher. This stuff is PLASTIC. Let me repeat that it is PLASTIC, and therefore will warp in the excessively hot dishwasher. These aren't even supposed to go in the dishwasher, but I do put them in there, on the TOP RACK, because the TOP RACK doesn't receive the direct hot water. Same goes for my Pyrex lids that need to MAINTAIN A FUCKING SEAL.

This girl is pissing me the fuck off. I swear, if the seals on my travel mugs no longer seal, bitch is getting me some new tumblers. The CS one is stainless, but the seal part of it is plastic. I should note, also, that the nice textured rubber grip ring on the CS one had slid out from where it fits into an indentation, thanks to the excessive heat of the dishwasher.

And it's not like there wasn't room on the top rack: she put the DISHES on the top rack and the PLASTIC CUPS on the bottom.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

(no subject)

The roommate interrupted me and boyfriend as we were watching a movie... so that I could literally hold her hand while she clicked "Complete Purchase" on the same netbook that I got. She said it was her first big purchase, ever, and so needed help. I hesitantly took her hand as she clicked to purchase. You know, with her parents' credit card. Well, minor victory, at least: mine has a bigger harddrive AND was about $50 less expensive.

I have never asked anyone to hold my hand while I make an online purchase. That's very weird to me.

People overload

my roommate wants to be LIEK BFF! which would be all well and good--- if we weren't roommates.

If you are going to walk out on your tab, at least dress boringly.

I had a walkout on a $40 tab--- FIVE ROUNDS OF DRINKS.

The girl was wearing a very distinctive dress. We referred to them as "the couple where the girl is wearing the gorgeous blue and white dress." We'd had them move to another room because of a private party and then comped them a round of drinks for their trouble.

But this is even better: the girl was walking towards me in the bar, and I go, "Oh! Do you need your tab?"

And she goes, "Oh, no, I'm just going to the bathroom."


We have had so many walkouts this week (four), that we have made it a policy to take credit cards with the first round order.

 Also I had a guy leave me his $1.25 in change. His bill was $38.75, and he gave me $40. So I gave him his change back. This was at 1:30, right when I gave last call.

At 1:50, he asks me for a Bud Light.

I say, "Sorry, I gave last call 20 minutes ago."

Then, HE GOES UP TO THE BARTENDER and asks for one.

He pays for just the beer.