"Obviously, it isn't a priceless family heirloom, but it is a nice piece of furniture."

Going out to the hardware store to get bolts for my kitchen table.

Let's start guessing how much damage my awful, disrespectful, "what? other people live here??????" roommate does to it. UGH.

Yah, 'cause I've spent several years acquiring nice stuff so SHE can destroy it. Great. 271 days.

BFF: get like a vinyl table cover
BFF: a really hideous one
Me: like an old lady in florida
BFF: and be like "this stays until we can learn to be neat!"

I need to get the hell out of my apartment.

So, after realizing how horribly late I already was for Contracts, and not helped along by my roommate's absolutely retarded questions that indicate to me that she really does have her head up her ass, I finally make it out to the elevator with her.

And finally, after a horribly long wait, the elevator shows up... And it has the maintenance guy in it, and the elevator is full of his stuff. So we wait for him to unload the elevator, and then SHE STARTS TRYING TO CHAT WITH HIM, and the fucking door starts closing, and, because ONLY ONE ELEVATOR WORKS FOR TEN FLOORS OF 30 UNITS EACH, I yell, GET THE DOOR! And she won't move!!! So I push her towards the elevator, because OMFG, I am NOT taking ten fucking flights of stairs down because SHE wants to be social.

So, of course, she proceeds to bitch me out in the elevator because oh my gawwwwd I like totally almost made her fall over! My reply: "Well, when there is one elevator, YOU REALLY NEED TO MOVE FASTER."

Have I properly emphasized the lack of more than one working elevator?! I should note as well that the wait for this one elevator was long enough for me to remember my USB stick in another bag, walk back down the hallway, unlock the door, go over to my room, grab the USB stick, re-lock the door, go back down the hall, and continue to wait for the elevator.

On Friday night, Boyfriend asked why there could be butter on the kitchen counter. It is now Monday. There is still butter on the kitchen counter. I really just wish she could cease to exist. Like, I come home from class and all her stuff is gone. That would be nice.

EDIT: In further support of my theory that she has her head up her ass: that creature has been using my CS travel mug (stainless, badass) because... all hers leak at the seal. Really? Gosh, I never would have thought that stuff you get for FREE is crap, especially when you put it in the bottom rack of the dishwasher. And, better yet, "I was going to get one from Target, but they were like so expensive! $20 for one with a handle!" While that is on the higher side of a travel tumbler, it is by no means unreasonable. The average value of mine is around $15/each (!= price paid since the Halloween one was on sale for $4.99 last November :P). Again, head --> ass.

I hate that creature that lives in my apartment.

That stupid creature continues to ask retarded questions in Contracts. It got to the point today where Prof. Contracts was shouting in class: "THIS IS CONTRACT, NOT PROMISSORY ESTOPPEL!" Ugh.

Some notes.

I actually sort of wish my roommate still hated me, because then she wouldn't try to sit next to me at random events. I've been in a crappy mood for the last couple days due to randomly getting sick on Sunday night, and I especially angry because I CAN'T SLEEP for some unknown reason. Grrrrrr. Add to it that it got really f-ing cold literally overnight, and I am still perfecting this whole "winter clothing" thing. Fun facts: I have one fleece from when I used to live up north, ten years ago. I wore it a couple times in the south, and it has just sat on a shelf since then. All my other sweaters are cotton.

k, resolved.

had big long talk with roommate.

we no longer want to stab each other.

that is all.

(20/20 HINDSIGHT: this was obviously temporary.)

I came home to find all my stuff from the living room piled in a corner in the dining room.

I feel... really fucking violated. That c---bag needs to fall out the window.

I am trying so hard not to stoop to her level of bitchy notes.

Elevators broken. I live on the TOP FLOOR.

Cut because I swear. A lot.

This situation has moved beyond Asking Nicely.

Me: "You need to clean the kitchen. It's disgusting, and it's been that way for a week, and I cannot live like that."
CBW:* "Oh, yeah, I'll get to that, I thought I was doing a good job."
Me: "Well, you haven't. The countertops always have stuff on them, and it's gross."
CBW: "Well I've been extremely busy this week**, I'll get to it."
Me: "I've been busy, too, but I manage to clean up after myself and do my dishes."
CBW: "Well on that note, can you take out the trash that's been sitting in the hall for like a week?"
Me: "I'll get to it, but when you asked me before, Boyfriend and I were on our way out the door to go to my sister's birthday party and we had our hands full." (Seriously, I had my suitcase full of laundry, textbooks, a huge casserole dish of un-iced cupcakes, and two bowls of icing.)

(* = C---bag Whore)
(** = We are in all of the exact same classes.)


Interesting note: since I instituted the "all my stuff goes on a tray" policy, I can be 100% certain that the mess is completely hers. Like, α=0.

Also, from the original email:

"3.) I can be a very respectful flatmate. I do tend to be messy, but I keep the mess to my room, I keep the bathroom clean, and always wash my dishes (HATE seeing messy sinks)"

Really? You always wash your dishes? Because it sure looks like they just kinda sit in the sink, on every counter, and on the stove.

Daily.

I keep hearing my toilet flush.

Isn't this a 2-bathroom apartment?

Yes, yes it is.

What fun. I kind of want to tie up my bathroom from 7-9 am tomorrow, just because it's my bathroom and I can. If the flushing continues, I will have to constantly remind the user to put in a maintenance request for the other bathroom.

Should not be an issue, honestly.

REDACTED:
Well, the mail key is missing. Awesome. I saw it on a keychain earlier today, and by keychain I mean in addition to the one marked MAIL that stays separated from the usual keys. So instead of being able to retrieve MY mail from the past WEEK, I have to wait on another party in order to get the mail key. WTF.

When I started eating my peas, I realized, after a bite, that the fork I was using was dirty. EW. I know it was a fork I had used to eat eggs and cheese last week, but often the dishes make it into the dishwasher without having been scrubbed in order to remove... egg and cheese... despite my bringing it up as a problem that needs to be addressed from time to time... and more specifically, I leave particularly gross things that are not mine in the sink, and I expect the same in return. Really, it is my mess, I will clean it up.

Still fighting the urge to throw up. I ate the rest of the peas with a spoon. I couldn't get over the texture of the egg/cheese between the tines of the fork. I suspect I will be eating with spoons for awhile, in fact.

And the door to the other bedroom isn't closed completely so the wind keeps hitting it against the door frame. Awesome. Time for earplugs.
--END REDACTION.

4:19 am - New strategy: I will let her live in her filth. I will be using my yellow tray as a mobile countertop, and I will wash the entire thing and store it between uses, specifically because it is bound to get pretty gross on the bottom. So if she wants to leave a fucking avocado out for eight hours, then she can do so. I am also going to request that she contribute anything at all to the kitchen, like a second cutting board. And, the eggshells, fruit rinds, and teabags she leaves in the sink make her responsible for putting in the maintenance requests when the disposal dies. *sweet smile*

That door is pissing me off, though. It continually slams against the door frame, which shakes the entire apartment.

War of the Kitchen

Made cupcakes last night for my sister's birthday.

I cleaned the kitchen before, i cleaned the kitchen after. I had two items that I wanted to let dry overnight because they were handwash-only and also way too big to fit in the dishwasher: the mixer bowl and the cupcake tray. I had placed them on a clean dishtowel which was placed on the clean counter and propped the items against the wall, where they remain today.

Also on the clean dish towel are a set of keys that do not belong to me or boyfriend. WTF. WHO DOES THAT?! Note as well that the dish towel takes up an area that is 12x18ish, and there is counter space all around it as well as hooks by the door for keys. argh.

Note: I am now referring to actions of that Creature That Lives in my Apartment in passive voice.

There are also tomatoes and like seaweed all over one segment of the counters, and I doubt it will be cleaned sufficiently when I get back from the birthday party that starts at 4.

I'm icing the cupcakes at my destination.

Great quote from my idiot roommate in Contracts today:

Creature: "Ok, so, I'm confused, it seems like all this jargon just confuses things... 'consideration,' and 'detriment'---"
Prof. Contracts: "Well I didn't make those up, they're in the Restatement."

Note: "consideration" and "detriment" have Big, Fancy Legal Meanings. That have been drilled into our heads since the first day of orientation.

i hate my roommate.

I went to sleep for a nap at 5 and woke up just now, partially because That Creature WOULD. NOT. STFU. *twitch* there is a line. that creature just crossed it.

(no subject)

Roommate left a 60w incandescent bulb on all day. Awesome. For reference, the kitchen, my bathroom, and my bedroom all have CFLs. I told her to go buy some, but she hasn't. She also fills up the tea kettle to make... a single small cup of tea. Dumb c-bag...

I can't take it anymore

After working in food service for so long, I developed a philosophy of not cleaning up after anyone. I take responsibility for my own mess, and I expect that people do the same for their own mess.

That blob of peanut butter still sits on the kitchen counter, in the shadow of a bottle of all-surface cleaner and a roll of paper towels.

C---bag whore has been bugging me about getting the bolts for my table. I am going to conveniently just keep "forgetting" until she starts keeping the kitchen clean. Because if she won't clean the counters, which are plastic and are attached to the apartment, then she probably won't clean the table, which is wood and moves with me to new houses.

I have informed my parents that I will not be living here next year, and that I am not having a roommate, either.

Dad: "Wait, she eats out of your glasses?!"
Me: "YES!!! I have plenty of bowls, and she eats out of my water glasses."
Dad: "Well it's not harming them..."
Me: "Yes it is! She's scraping up the inside with the fork!"
Dad: "Well whatever, we'll get you new dishes."
Me: "I don't want new dishes. These are 12 oz. water glasses. They are for drinking out of. I searched for months for this specific type of glass, and she is ruining them!"

"C---bag whore," by the way, is my new pet name for that inconsiderate cave-dweller who lives in my apartment and eats bean sprouts from my water glasses and puts my plastic travel tumblers and my acrylic cups on the bottom rack of the dishwasher and doesn't scrub her egg residue from the pans OR the spatula and has never cleaned a counter in the two months she has lived here.

I can't study here, knowing what is growing in the kitchen. The Costco pizza box is the cleanest surface in there.

(16:02:35) Me: bitch is costing me money
(16:02:46) Me: because i can't study in my own house
(16:02:48) Boyfriend: bitches tend to do that

Stab.

Fun fact: If you close your door all the way, a lot less sound gets into your room.

Fun fact: I've had in-room roommates who woke up about this time for earlier classes and used hair dryers in the room. I convinced myself that it was a soothing breeze on the beach. Or something. See fun fact number one.

Fun fact: I still hate my roommate, and I think she's starting to hate me. This is actually completely unintentional, and I didn't mean for this to happen. On a related note, I don't intend to start waking up at later-than-6:30am anytime soon. We have class at 8:15 next semester, and I will NOT be thrown off by that.

She growled, "Six.... Thirty.... !!!"

I hate my roommate and she needs to FOAD.

Things I can deal with:

1. The insane workload of law school.
2. The mess of my room, because it really isn't that bad, it's just boxes and a big suitcase of clean laundry and several pairs of shoes.
3. The boxes in my room. 

Things I absolutely cannot deal with:

1. Having to ask my roommate to throw out rotted fruit. Not rotting fruit, rotted fruit. That's right, it's been sitting there rotting/molding for two weeks, and I had to ask her to please take care of it.
2. Opening my fridge to find moldy tomatoes from three weeks ago.
3. Opening my fridge to find a container of spicy fried anchovies on top of my cheese. *HISS*
4. The case of beer taking up the entire bottom shelf of my fridge, from three weeks ago. Not in boxes.
5. The whole watermelon from three weeks ago that she hasn't eaten yet.
6. My apartment smells like, alternatingly, fried Asian food and rotting fruit.
7. My roommate asking me at school if I'm "okay" because she hasn't seen me in... a day. What the eff?! I do not believe this is part of the roommate deal, and I have never had anyone freak out and ask me if I was "okay" after not seeing me for like 36 hours. Honestly. W. T. FFFF!!! She is not my mother, and I am not accountable to her, nor do I have to inform her of when I am or am not coming home. We are 24, and honestly, if she wanted a roommate that cares, she should have posted about that in her roommate ad, because I did not sign up to literally hold someone's hand when she makes large purchases online. (Yes, I did that. She actually interrupted me and boyfriend while we were watching a movie.)
8. She interrupts me, and everyone else, when we are talking, to try to guess what we're about to say. I have been patient so far, but that got old the first time she did it.
9. She knocks on the door while opening it. As we well know, the correct sequence is knock, await response, then enter if invited in. (Advice from a friend: "Start being naked in your room at all times. This will work. I promise." ...She's okay with nudity. Well, more like she will walk around in her underwear. WTF. I am not comfortable with this.)
10. Bitch needs to close my bedroom door when she cooks her vile food so it doesn't stink up my linens.
11. She doesn't clean out containers before placing them in the recycling bin. As we well know, this contaminates the entire, large bin in the garage, and the recycling company or whatever then just... throws it in the trash instead of recycling it. So, her carelessness is actually costing the world money.

I haven't been this bitter since I had to work 26 days in a row for DoucheBob. I am just constantly in a bad mood because of this situation.

(no subject)

You know what crosses my mind when I see my roommate? These letters: F.O.A.D.

(no subject)

Dad: "So how do you like your apartment?"
Me: "The APARTMENT is fantastic. It can, however, be improved in one way."
Boyfriend: "Ha, yeah, that roommate."

She tried to HUG me last night. Again. I'm like, uhhh I might be getting sick. And she wondered why I was getting ready for bed at 9. Um, FOAD. It was my way of trying to deter her from hugging me, like the threat of contagious disease or something. It worked that time. She hasn't figured out why I now leave the house over an hour early and don't see her for days on end. That is entirely intentional, and it is sad that I am avoiding my own house.

Today's evidence that my roommate is not balanced

I am in the student lounge. She is clear across the room, talking to 2L+s about yesterday's offensive comments by the contracts instructor.

These comments were intentionally offensive, to prove a point that contracts can be enforceable even though they demand horrible things.

"What if the contracts stated that if he didn't marry a Presbyterian before age 21, the uncle would give him $5000? What if he couldn't marry a Catholic? A black?"

My thoughts - "Man, glad those days are over."

Roommate's comments - OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE HIM I AM SO OFFENDED WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE HE HATES ME PERSONALLY.

Did she grow up in a cave?!

My roommate put my nice, plastic coffee tumblers in the MAIN RACK of the dishwasher. This stuff is PLASTIC. Let me repeat that it is PLASTIC, and therefore will warp in the excessively hot dishwasher. These aren't even supposed to go in the dishwasher, but I do put them in there, on the TOP RACK, because the TOP RACK doesn't receive the direct hot water. Same goes for my Pyrex lids that need to MAINTAIN A FUCKING SEAL.

This girl is pissing me the fuck off. I swear, if the seals on my travel mugs no longer seal, bitch is getting me some new tumblers. The CS one is stainless, but the seal part of it is plastic. I should note, also, that the nice textured rubber grip ring on the CS one had slid out from where it fits into an indentation, thanks to the excessive heat of the dishwasher.

And it's not like there wasn't room on the top rack: she put the DISHES on the top rack and the PLASTIC CUPS on the bottom.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

(no subject)

The roommate interrupted me and boyfriend as we were watching a movie... so that I could literally hold her hand while she clicked "Complete Purchase" on the same netbook that I got. She said it was her first big purchase, ever, and so needed help. I hesitantly took her hand as she clicked to purchase. You know, with her parents' credit card. Well, minor victory, at least: mine has a bigger harddrive AND was about $50 less expensive.

I have never asked anyone to hold my hand while I make an online purchase. That's very weird to me.

People overload

my roommate wants to be LIEK BFF! which would be all well and good--- if we weren't roommates.